Always.

July 21, 2007, the final Harry Potter book came out. I stood in line at midnight to get it and I stayed up all night to read it, feeling as though some chapter in my life (no pun intended) had just ended. But it wasn't quite over yet.

July 15, 2011, the final Harry Potter movie came out. I was at the theater at midnight to see it with my friends, and I cried like someone close to me had just died when the credits began to roll. It was at that point I felt like some part of my life had really and truly come to a close.

I saw the movie four times in theaters, most recently on Wednesday (the 17th). I was surprised at the number of people still flocking to the theater to see it. Granted, they put us in one of the smaller theaters, unlike the one I saw it in at the midnight premiere. But the atmosphere couldn't be more different. These people on Wednesday were just casual fans, or maybe people who were bored and couldn't think of anything else to see.

At the midnight premiere, I was surrounded by my friends and people who are just as crazy about Harry Potter as I am. People dressed up (myself included), had their books, watched the first part of the seventh movie while waiting. There was a legit race to the theater when they finally let us in.

There was cheering at all the right moments. When Neville killed Nagini. When Molly Weasley uttered her famous line, "Not my daughter, you bitch!" When Ron and Hermione kissed. When Voldemort was defeated. There was cheering and clapping for all the great moments.

There were also subdued moments and tears. When Fred died. Seeing Remus and Tonks dead. Snape's death. The Prince's tale. The Resurrection Stone scene. Hogwarts being destroyed. The very end, seeing all the kids on the train, pulling away from the station for the last time. The last time I would ever see the Hogwarts Express pulling away from King's Cross.

I know there's Pottermore to look forward to, but I still can't help but feel as though I've lost someone close to me. There's no more anticipation, no more looking forward to something completely new. People think I'm just being overly dramatic or emotional, and that maybe I should just get over it, but I won't. Harry Potter has always been there for me, and it will always be there for me, until the very end.

Because it's real for us.

Five things to be happy about.

• summer thunderstorms
• thinking you have a ton of work to do but really have nothing
• Mondays that don't suck
• being told that someone really does value you
• feeling absolutely safe and content in the arms of the guy you like

Five things to be happy about.

• lazy Sundays after a hectic Saturday
• chocolate donuts
• talking to a friend you haven't heard from in a while
• finishing your homework before two in the morning
• new boots

Five things to be happy about.

In an attempt to blog a little more often, I'm going to do this thing that I saw on this girl's blog here. It's also my attempt to be a little less depressed all the time and to think a little more about the things that make me happy.

• brightly colored nail polish
• that crunching sound your skates make on the ice
• driving with the windows down and the music loud
• cups of tea
• getting the perfect amount of sleep

DFTBA.

I would be lying if I said I was never insecure. Let's be completely honest, what girl doesn't feel insecure from time to time?

I'm not one to read girly magazines on a weekly basis, but occasionally I'll indulge and read some Cosmo online. I basically just read it all for laughs, because I believe half the things they write about how girls should act/dress to get guys to like them are ridiculous. For example, I saw this article on how to be a good girlfriend, and was immediately offended by the very first thing on the list. I can't cheer for a sports team that I like? Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean that I can't get into sports. And I'll drink as much as I want, thanks very much.

Any guy that wants to go out with me will learn and have to accept the fact that I am a diehard hockey fan and player. My social life revolves around my hockey schedule. Very frequently, I find myself saying, "Sorry, I can't, I have hockey." And I'm a huge, huge, huge New York Rangers fan, so on most nights during the hockey season, you'll find me screaming at the TV when I watch my team play. If you can't get over that, then we just won't work out.

That applies to everything. The "advice" that Cosmo gives its readers is ridiculous. Do this, not that; wear this, not that...honestly, I'm not going to bend over backwards or change my style just to impress a guy. Yeah, relationships require give and take, but they shouldn't require so much that you're practically becoming a different person.

But sometimes, when I'm on a Cosmo-reading binge, I start to wonder if maybe some of their advice is worth listening to. It's usually after I've been feeling down about myself that I tend to start reading their relationship and dating articles, because sometimes I feel like I'm lacking experience in that area. I've only ever had one serious boyfriend, and when it comes to pursuing a guy, I start to hesitate and falter and second-guess myself. Constantly.

I'll wonder what he's thinking of me, and wonder if he thinks, "Hey, this girl is a great friend, but not someone I see myself dating." Am I not girly enough? Is that why I find myself lacking experience in the dating area?

Then I catch myself thinking like that and pull myself out of this funk. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe my own words, but I try to keep telling myself that if a guy is going to want to be with me, he'll want me to be me. He'll accept my hardcore obsession with hockey and Harry Potter. He won't tell me to dress differently or act differently. He'll go with my mood swings and not run as far as he can in the opposite direction when I start to hit a downward spiral.

As arrogant as it sounds, I just need to remind myself every now and then that I am awesome, and no one can change those things that make me so awesome.

Huskies to Red Hawks.

I've probably blogged about this once or twice, in passing, without too many details, but due to a lack of any better ideas, and because people keep asking me about it even though it's been over a year since I left, here is the entire, comprehensive, detailed account of why I left Northeastern, if I like Montclair better, and if I miss Boston.

I started visiting colleges during my sophomore year of high school. I know, that's early. I don't actually remember every single school I went to, but a few were Cornell, Emerson, Northeastern, William Paterson, Rowan, SUNY Purchase, Sacred Heart, and NYU. My dream school is and always will be NYU, but they rejected me. Bastards.

I ended up only applying to three schools: NYU (my reach), Northeastern (second choice), William Paterson (safety). I thought about applying to Purchase, but in the end, I just didn't. I kind of regret that, but not so much that it's tearing me apart on the inside.

I got into NU and Willy P, like I thought I would, and was basically set on going to Northeastern, unless NYU accepted me. Which they didn't. So in September of 2009, I moved on up to Boston to start what I thought would be the first of five years as a Northeastern Husky.

And at first, it was great. I loved it, both academically and socially. I spent a lot of time wandering around Boston in my free time, getting to know the city, which was awesome, because I've always wanted to live in a city, though my preferred city is New York. No offense, Boston, but you can't live up to New York in my eyes.

Somewhere around Christmas break, I found myself thinking about leaving NU and going somewhere else. At first, there was never really a concrete reason as to why, but I wanted to. This will sound really weird to probably almost everyone, but it was after I left Northeastern for Montclair that I realized why I never regretted my choice to leave my school, my friends, and my then-boyfriend.

To put it very simply, I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. I still don't. Northeastern has a great co op program, where you do internships during your time there. And that's fantastic, if you know what you want to do. A kid in one of my classes at Northeastern was telling me about he hadn't been on a co op yet because he'd kept switching his major because he didn't know what he wanted to do. He spent a lot of summers and winter breaks catching up on classes so he could do at least one co op.

I didn't want that to be me, struggling to keep up with classes and trying to figure out what I wanted on the spot. My roommate at the time summed it up with this aggravated Facebook status: "Please, as soon as possible, plan out the next four years, and the rest of your life. Sincerely, Northeastern."

Montclair might not be a big-name school like Northeastern is; most people look at me like, "wtf is a Montclair" when I tell them where I go to school, but I like it. It's perfect for me. Being at Montclair is opening up a whole host of opportunities I definitely would not have had if I'd stayed at Northeastern.

I got to play another year of girl's hockey with my old team; I'm planning on studying abroad next summer (were I at Northeastern, I wouldn't be able to afford going abroad with their tuition bill). But what I love best of all is that the pressure to immediately plan out my life is much less than what it was at Northeastern. I'm declared as an English major, and I think that's what I'll stay as, but I can take a variety of other classes, to see if anything strikes my fancy.

So yes. I like Montclair. I don't mind commuting. And yes, I miss Boston. I don't miss Northeastern; if anything, I miss the freedom I had while living away from home, but my parents pretty much just let me come and go as I please, plus I have a car now, so there's really not that much difference, except I have to be quiet when I come home drunk. I miss living in a city, I miss going to school in the same city as one of my friends; though now I go to the same school as two of my friends, and I can spend free weekends down at Stockton with my best friend/wife.

So there you have it. The next person who asks me if I miss Northeastern will be decapitated because I'm getting sick of explaining myself.

Things that annoy me: A general list.

Something ticked me off on Facebook today, a harmless comment made by someone that just unfortunately pushed me over the edge. So here it is, a list of things that annoy me.

• Stupid people.
• People who claim things without valid reasoning.
• Flyers and Capitals fans.
• Being cut off by another driver who then proceeds to drive extremely slowly.
• Getting stuck behind people driving BELOW the speed limit. Just get off the road.
• People who wear Uggs in late May.
• High school girls who think they're the shit.
• Obsessive Twilight fans.
• Being told that I'm too old to like/do certain things.
• People assuming things about me because I'm from New Jersey.
• School.
• One letter text messages. What was the point?
• When I keep dying in a video game and have to keep doing the same mission over and over and over and over.
• Being told I can't be a Rangers fan because I don't live in New York.
• Being told that I'm short. CONSTANTLY. Seriously, SHUT. UP.
• Not being able to find a job.
• Having to find a job.
• People who hate Harry Potter for NO REASON AT ALL.
• People who hate Harry Potter in general.
• When my parents harp on and on about how I'm fat and should lose weight. Thanks. You really know how to help my already crappy self-esteem.
• When my Nintendo DS dies and I'm in the middle of a Pokemon battle.
• Being broke.
• Being called "little one." Don't call me that.
• When I make lists like this and people are like, "haha, I'm going to annoy you with these!" and then they do and piss me off more. I make lists like this 1. for fun, and 2. so you DON'T piss me off by doing any of these things.
• Doing the dishes.
• Living far away from my friends so I can't see them often.
• This crappy, miserable weather.
• People being cheerful when I'm pissed off.
• Immature people.
• People who don't realize they've crossed a line and should step back before I severely injure them.

That's all for now.